Perhaps strangely, the rituals I have found most accessible and least scary are sex rituals. Partly because I’ve only done them with people I’m very close with, and partly because sex rituals have a big advantage if you want to find rituals that don’t feel like going through superstitious motions. Your body will let you know whether your ritual for creating sexual connection and ecstasy is powerful or not.
Longtime sex activist Barbara Carrellas, in her book Urban Tantra (byoa, as always), gives a series of steps and associated intentions for sex rituals that I have been applying to sex for almost ten years:
- Set the stage (to prepare the space)
- Chill out (to relax and get present)
- Warm up (to engage your body)
- Come together (to get connected)
- Rock and roll (to enjoy some ecstatic activities)
- Afterglow (to cool down and bask)
I really appreciate the order of stages 1-4: space, mind, body, connections. They build on each other in practical as well as symbolic ways.